New York Bound…


Daughter and I on her graduation day

Well, not quite yet. Sunday afternoon, I’ll be heading to New York to spend a few days with my older daughter, who lives and works there. I miss her insanely since she moved to the city – back to the city, actually; she’d lived there previously during an externship while she was completing her studies at the Culinary Institute of America. I’m also insanely proud of her. Yes, we’re parent/child, even if that’s parent/adult child, and yes, we have our occasional differences. But – and I’m really trying to make sure she understands this; it’s actually unfinished business that I work on in my own family of origin – no matter what those differences are, ultimately they don’t amount to a bucket of warm spit, and they will never change my love for her or my genuine interest in her life, even while giving her the freedom to be her own person.

In any case, we’re both excited about the trip and looking forward to having the time together. I’m looking forward to seeing her new place, and her new cat. I’m not sure I’m looking forward to sleeping on her loveseat, but the price is certainly right. At least now, she lives by herself. Once, while she was sharing a shoebox-sized apartment on Christopher Street in the West Village during the aforementioned externship, I had to schedule a kind-of-emergency, last minute trip up to help her out with something. I planned to sleep on the couch in order to save some money on the unplanned trip. Surprisingly, and contrary to popular opinion, people making a living by working two part-time jobs in the ministry really aren’t flush with cash, and this was really much more of a financial necessity than just being a tightwad. But just before the trip, I got an incredibly insulting phone call from the mother of one of the roommates, who told me she didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to sleep in the apartment that her daughter was also living in – “no offense, of course.” Oh, of course not; none taken – you just implied that I was a rapist bent on attacking your daughter while my own daughter slept in the next room; why on earth would I ever take offense. “You see, I don’t know what your family’s morals and rules were, but we didn’t raise our daughter that way; we passed on a strict set of morals to her.” Oh, well, why didn’t you say so sooner; you tried to instill morals into your children – unlike us lesser mortals, a subcategory that apparently includes Presbyterian clergy. I politely ended the phone call, shook my head, and put a hotel room on the credit card, paying through the nose for it over the next several months, just to keep the peace. But I digress. This trip, I sleep on the couch. Yep, that would apparently be me that you see slouching all the way to Gomorrah.

I didn’t realize when I planned the trip that I’d be visiting during Restaurant Week in New York, but that’s a nice additional benefit. In addition to me finally being able to eat at Sfoglia, where she works, we’ll also be trying Coppelia and Sushi Samba, both of which look incredible, and one other restaurant to be determined. We’ll also hang for a bit at Chelsea Market, which we both like and which apparently has a lot of new things since I was there last. And I’m sure we’ll hit a museum, maybe two. I’d like to take her to the Guggenheim, since she’s never been to it, or MOMA, but we’ll see. All that really matters to me is that we have a good time and good conversation. This trip will be a welcome mini-escape from all the recent craziness and stress of losing one job and the ongoing call process. Big Apple, here I come…

1 thought on “New York Bound…

  1. Dwain, as a fellow parent I can definitely appreciate that you’re looking forward to a couple “just Dad and me” days with your daughter — what a blessing to have such a good relationship. When Steve told me you’d be coming to NYC I was really looking forward to a chance to see you after all these years and hear more about your experiences in the pastorate and at seminary in person….we will miss you but trust you will have a great time with your daughter. I hope we can meet up when you have more time on another visit!

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